WHY?

Becuj — I need a blog for my “professional” site that doesn’t have all my idiotic (sometimes, drunk) ramblings.  haha.

AND – I decided that I will try to post more drawings.

I need art in my life.

(p.s. Yes T, that means you will be my only faithful reader of both.  <3)

Ok, so I’m not drunk… but buzzzzzzzzed.

Had 3 beers with my manager & coworker after work today.  It was nice.. I felt old.  hahaha.

I had the sudden urge to be my 22 yr old self… drankin’… and partying all night.  I’m sure I’ll wake up tomorrow, slightly hung over, and regret having that 3rd beer.  YES, I only drank 3 beers… but on an empty stomach… well, you know.

I’m watching Ghost right now.. (chase scene near the end)…. (I just started hicupping like a inebriated 1930s cartoon.)….. it’s about to be the really sad scene where Demi more (without all her plastic surgery)… can see Sam for like 2 seconds.

The first time I saw this part.. on VHS at a slumber party when I was 9.. I bawled.  I mean… so SAHD…. just like when I was 19ish, and I thought Julia Roberts not getting her best friend in My Best Friend’s Wedding was sad…

Now:  Not sad at all.  I actually think she’s a selfish slut in that movie.

It’s weird how opinions change on how it’s supposed to be.

I used to believe my ex was like Mr. Big… that we’d end up together even after years/divorces/children…. us together.  SO DREAMYZ.  Now, I can’t even remember “us”… how we were.  (Sadly, I’ve deleted all of my old blogs, evidence to this time.  haha.  OH SO DRAMATIC.)

He used to say we were soul mates… really though??

Call me bitter.. or better.. a realist…. but there’s no such thing.  People come in and out of our lives.. teaching us.. healing us.. letting us go… It’s just the way life is.

There’s no end-all-be-all person.

There’s just the one you choose.

Back to the ex… he didn’t choose me.  That’s that.  The end.  And apparently, I didn’t choose him.. since I can’t even remember why I cried so hard over him.

Oh yeah, I remember.. he lead me on for years and stuck his dirty pee-pee in some other girl behind my back.  AW SNAP.

hahahahahaha..

<3

I keep coughing — and it’s not pretty.  I actually get grossed out by the sound of my own cough.  haha.

Anyway, I got sick running a 5K without training (haven’t run in 3 months — which even then, I only ran for 3 weeks to lose weight before my Cancun trip) — and then, slurped several jello shots along with mimosas afterward.  Hey, it was St. Patrick’s day.. whatev.  Instead of taking a nap after the all-day festivities, I had to drive my drunk bf & friends home — took some 5 hour Energy for the first time — and partied till 1:30am.  Full day.

Apparently, my old body can’t take that much fun packed into one day — thus, I’ve been sick for over a week.

On another note — I found out that I “officially” ran the 3.1 miles in 36 minutes, but my pace was around 10 min/mile…. which means I do a lot of running in place instead of moving forward.  haha.  I need to change my running form and take larger steps.  WAH.  Honestly, I don’t like running.  It’s pretty boring.  I’d rather take a spin class.  Plus, doesn’t running age your face or something like that?… I read it somewhere.  I’m trying to keep all the fat in my face in place yo… (except for the chins.. the chin fairy can take all of that pls thnx.)

Since my 30th birthday is about 4 months away — I need to get cracking on the “best shape of my life” plan… or at least the “please fat gods let me lose 20 lbs.. no wait.. 30 if possible… pls” plan.. before my birthday.  I just feel so tubby lately.. not even chubby.. TUBBY.  ugh.

I guess it doesn’t help that I had spam and rice as 2 out of my 5 meals today.

If I had a (food) journal it would go something like this:

11:00 – Can’t believe I slept in so late — might as well as be lazy and lay around some more.
1:00 – Open fridge and stare at what’s available.
1:05 – get excited about the thought of eating ramen
1:06 – realize there’s no ramen.. sux
1:09 – find some low sodium spam.. spam and rice it is.
1:30 – devour
2:30 – get a second helping
3:00 – nap
rest of the day sitting around playing Wordfued & WWF — watching reruns of Beekman Boys (LOVER IT!)
8:00 – heat up some spam & rice again
8:05 – feel guilty for not cooking dinner — so I make kimchi & spam fried rice with eggs over-easy for parents
8:30 – eat my spam & rice
9:00 – feed my parents
10:30 – eat 2 Godiva dark chocolate cookies in the shape of a heart
10:32 – contemplate eating another one – drink lots of water instead

That’s it.  Pretty unhealthy, eh?

Otherwise — when I do work, I have a 100 cal soup, apple sauce, 100 cal cocoa dusted almonds (SO GOOD)… only if I have time.  Maybe I need to Medifast it again & cut out all alcohol.

WAH.

I should be sleeping — long day tomorrow.  HURRAH.

TA DA!

I say not surprisingly, because I’ve been awarded Employee of the Month at every employer I’ve ever worked for within the first month. haha. *pats myself on the back*   What can I say?  I have a great work ethic.

Personally, I don’t think I work as hard as I could everyday — but the others around me make me look like a genius at customer service.  Plus, the fact that ALL strangers love to talk to me and ask me questions doesn’t hurt. It looks like I’m giving excellent customer service, when really it’s because everyone approaches me first. haha.

This quality about my face — I call it — Overly Approachable Face (OAF) — haha.. gets really annoying when you’re out… especially at a bar.  Some guy is always trying to tell me their life story or start a conversation — AY.. I’m just trying to get a drink yo.

For example, the last time I was out, a group was leaving and offered myself and some friends their table (Btw, I always seem to get a free table at crowded bars as well.. FTS… Free Table Syndrome.)

One of the guys, wearing a faux leather jacket circa Thriller touches my coat and says, “That’s w—- coat.”
“What did you say??”
“Wolves’ teeth coat?”
“Uh yeah, sure.” (stare at my bf & give him the save-me look — where he, in turn, ignores me per usual, because he STILL doesn’t understand that look)
Thriller man, “Nice. Very nice.” (still touching my coat.. gross.)
“….”

Several hours later (actually 30 minutes), we left and J finally asks me what that was all about. I explain that he kept insisting my coat was a wolves’ teeth coat… WHAT COULD THAT MEAN??? After several more hours (minutes) of discussing, J figured it out:

Apparently, he meant houndstooth. haha.

WOLVES’ TEETH COAT.

Things that happened, but I will probably not ever get to updating with full entries:

– J surprised me with a trip to Kauai, Hawaii for my birthday for 7 days — simply beautiful and one of the best vacations I’ve had.  We had one little argument about him wanting to make ham sandwiches and me wanting to eat everything local in sight… but other than that just gorgeous.  We hiked almost every day, snorkeled, saw baby dolphins making their morning swim with their pods, sea turtles swimming out to sea for the day, ate lots of fresh seafood (although other than the hole-in-the-wall saimin noodle shop, was nothing to write home about), and got sorta tan… which faded 3 days after we got back.  haha.  I wouldn’t mind moving there forever…. okay maybe 3 years tops.

– I took another breather from styling with that crazy client — actually, I haven’t spoken to her since my last entry — except about taxes which are due in a month UGH.  I still do some NM jobs here and there.. as well as anything Corner Bakery.  So when you eat there, I did all of the backgrounds and pulls… faux finishing and everything.  TA-DA!

– I helped one of my long time friends design all of her wedding stuff… which stressed me out more than work.  She’s so laid back, that she’s indecisive… when she does make a decision it’s last minute.. so you know how that goes when you’re trying to get things printed haha.. BUT I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.  The wedding was beautifully designed/styled, and I felt proud that I could help (along with her amazing sister).  She looked stunning, and I’d do anything to make her day more special.

– With the wedding, actually before, we took a 13 person bachelorette/dirty thirty party to Cancun in January.  BEST GIRLY VACATION EVER!  We got free bottles all day and night at the resort.. although we were gawked at like zoo animals since the european tourists in Cancun have never seen so many Asians together… great.  I’m expecting YouTube videos of us being drunk on the beach to come online any day now.    One thing that I love (and sometimes hate haha) about my aZn girlfriends are that we’re very self-absorbed.. but not in the negative sense (if that’s possible).  We all have very loud, distinct personalities.. and love entertaining each other.. without regard to those lovely couples trying to have a romantic vacation in Mexico.  Anyway, it was great.  I didn’t get tan at all.. but.. I think my liver is 5x stronger.. and 029384208 inside jokes to last a lifetime.

– Also, with the mob mentality of the aZn friends, sometimes people get lost in the shuffle too.. which I hate it when people feel left out.  hate hate hate it.  I noticed the older we grow, the more secrets we tend to keep.  I remember back in the day — we were all very close.. and we bragged how we were always open and honest with each other.  These days, there seem to be so many… secrets.  AH MIDDLE SCHOOL all over again.

– I took a job at UO — yes, retail.  ALL those years of college later — and I’m doing a job that an 18-year-old is qualified for… wah.  But it is steady (+), I’ll have benefits (+), it’ll be full-time (+), I can wear whatever I want to work (+), I love everyone at work (+), 40% discount…. and it leaves me lots of time for blogging (I think)… AND most importantly… I will have NO excuse not to paint and work on my grad school portfolio.

– It’s 2 hrs past my bedtime, SO I’m off.

Maybe, I’ll update tomorrow.

I’ve finished invoicing — still have a few more items to ship back and return. blah blah blah.

I went mountain biking for the first time EVAR, and it was pretty ridiculous how out of shape I am. Only halfway through the trail – I kept asking J if we were near the end and threatening to throw up.  haha.

A few things I observed while biking:

1. All mountain bikers are hot.

2. The women mountain bikers.. not so hot.

3. I am just as tired as when I do hot yoga — except after hot yoga I want to hug myself.  After biking, I want to die.

Anyway, I’m all bruised up for this weekend’s festivities.  I’m going to Toronto this Thursday through Monday for a cousin’s wedding.  I’m sorta excited since I love my extended family — except for the fact that they keep pointing out how much weight I’ve gained.. but other than that — everyone in my family is very outgoing, drinks a lot, all foodies and experts on everything edible, likes to sing loudly, and witty.  I’m pretty sure everyone will be wasted at this wedding.  Can’t wait!

Anyway, that’s my update for today.  SVU is on.  wut.

I think it’s the worst feeling in the world.

It’s strange how the term “the girls” changes so quickly.

I shouldn’t care but whatever.. friends come and go or something like that.  It’s probably my fault for being a bad friend anyway.  Either way, it hurts.  blah.

I hate you Facebook.

I’m watching the Rachel Zoe project — and it’s giving me a headache.  It just proves to me that even if you’re a big/famous stylist — it’s going to be the same sh*t.  pulling & returning.  ugh.  I’m definitely over it.

Some big changes coming up, but I rather not say anything until the deed is done.  I could use some good karma my way.  wink wink.

On another note — I’ve been reading the book Eat Pray Love — well, more vigorously lately since the move is being released soon.  (I hate when movies ruin books.)  For some reason, this book has given me a sort of calm/easy feeling after each chapter — it’s soothing to read.  weird.  I guess in a strange way it has given me a lot of answers to a flurry of questions and anxiety that’s been fluttering about in my head.   I think it’s called — living in the moment.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

BTW, I bought a cheap-o Wal-Mart bike a month ago.  I road a little over 11 miles the other day.  wooot.  Adios cellulite!

I have 5 months to get in beach-body-bridesmaid shape.  SIGH.

“You’re so lucky that you get to shop for a living!?”

No, I am not lucky.

My job has pretty much ruined shopping for me.  I shop super fast now.. which I guess is a bonus.  I over-buy on the intention that I’ll return half of it — which I never get around to doing.  Since I’m at the mall/stores/online everyday looking at wardrobe, it’s hard not to see all the sales and know when the sales are coming, etc.  SO, I end up buying a lot of stuff since I can never pass up a deal.  Even if it’s not in my size — I take pictures with my phone and email/text them to people who I think would want it/shoes/clothes/everything.  I like to drag people down people with me.

Returns are the worst.

I return so often that I know the work schedules of the people at the stores.  Now that I don’t care as much about what people think, I’ll return just about anything while keeping my sunglasses on.  Yes, I am one of “those people.”

It’s just so easy to remember my face — freckled, short, Asian — that I need to make myself more un-memorable haha.

“But Patty, don’t they let you borrow things knowing that you’ll use them on a shoot?”

No.

LA and NY — places will let you “rent” things.. but they’re usually 20% of the total cost.  When you start pulling over 50 options.. 20% could equal well over $10k .. and no client would ever pay that… (well, unless it was some super rich client that didn’t care about budget – I’ve never met one.)  Also, I do get to pull things.. but only if the store/designer gets a credit.  If not… no luck. There’s not a lot of editorial work here in Dallas.. mostly catalog/lifestyle.. so there’s no room for credit.

“Don’t you get a discount or get to keep anything?”

Definitely – no.  nothing.  nada.

It’s not glamorous at all.  I’ve gone through a few assistants mostly, because they weren’t willing to do any “dirty work.”  Dirty work = unpacking boxes, steaming clothes, ironing, etc.  It’s not that hard — but it’s strange that easier the job, the less likely the person can do it right.

Anyway, I’m supposed to be looking for accessories for wardrobe approval tomorrow.

WAH.

Btw, I got my JS Dany’s — I HEART THEM.  My arch doesn’t touch the sole — but it’s still comfortable.  shrug.